im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
