it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
