Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
