We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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