i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
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