it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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