No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize