Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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