If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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