Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
