Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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