No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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