Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
