Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
is wine microwaveable?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
