yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
