shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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