i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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