first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
