Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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