Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
