we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
