Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
