Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
