Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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