hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
