i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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