dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
