I heard we made out
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
