I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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