Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
