No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
nutella sex= disaster
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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