My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize