Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
