I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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