i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
