Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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