A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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