im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
