We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
