It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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