Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
