Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
