I want you more than these girls want KFC
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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