Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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