Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
