girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
