Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
