I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
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Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
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There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
You did what with his pubic hair?
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