I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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