He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
