My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
