At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Girls should come with a carfax report
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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