sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
