Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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