Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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