trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
