escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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