Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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